Trenty

Sometimes I get fully shocked by shit and yesterday was one of those days. I’ll tell yaz what happened.

So yesterday like I told yaz, I went with cousin Keith to take Trent, his two month old, to get his ears pierced. I told Keith weeks ago, Keith, Trenty’s a month old, what’s holdin yaz up with getting his ears pierced? I know with Jaydden, Jayson, Maddhyson and Shazza I got their ears done when they were four weeks old. No-one can tell me it didn’t look good coz it did. All their friends had their ears pierced at four weeks old so you know, peer pressure was also a factor. Last week I said, Keith, Trenty’s seven weeks – come on! You gotta get his ears done, all his friends at the community health centre are gonna be commenting on his lack of ear jewellery. Finally this week, Keith said, righto then, let’s get it done.

So down we go to the plaza, the same place where Shazza got her nipples done. She was only 13 at the time but a few of her friends were doing it so I told her no worries Shaz, go and get it done if that’s what you want, and she did. Apart from a few infections and a couple of fevers and a few visits to emergency when she’s got it hooked on a rug or a friend’s ponytail, she’s had no problems with it whatsoever. The point I’m making is that Shazza was underage but they still did it, no probs, no fuckin lectures. But in we walk yesterday and we go, hi, we wanna get Trent’s ears pierced. The stupid bitch at the front counter goes, nah, we don’t do babies. I said, what the fuck do you mean you don’t do babies? The girl goes, we don’t believe that babies should be getting their ears pierced, it’s completely unnecessary. At that point Keith’s ears pricked up coz he doesn’t like being told he’s a shit dad. Ever since the twins got taken away last year it’s been a bit of a sore spot for him. So he goes, what the fuck did you say? She goes, I said we can’t pierce your baby’s ears coz he’s too young. Keith fucking lost it let me tell ya. He chucked a massive shit, yelling out, are you telling me how to raise my fucking kid? Are ya? Is that what you're fucking trying to do? The girl goes, nah, I’m not telling ya how to raise your kid - all I’m saying is that we can’t pierce your kid’s ears. Keith goes, right, so what’s the fucking age limit on getting ears pierced in this shithole? The girl goes, six – the child’s gotta be at least six. Keith goes, six months or six years? The girl goes, six years. Keith goes, right. Trenty’s six years old. The girl rolled her eyes and said, I’m sorry, but your child is quite obviously not six years old, he’s a baby. Fuck me - Keith got even more pissed off at that point. He goes, are you telling me I don’t know how old my own child is? I’m fucking telling ya that Trenty’s six, he’s just small for his age! He's got some disease! It was on Today Tonight! Just fuckin pierce his ears! Or if you're not gonna fucken do it, give me the fuckin piercing gun and I’ll do it myself!

At that point security was called and Keith, Trent and I were escorted out of the plaza. Again. Can you fuckin believe that shit? It’s bad enough DOCS interfering and tellin ya shit all the time - don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t leave your kids in the car with the window rolled up, make sure there’s an adult in the house minding your kids when you go away for a week, don’t feed your kids only fried food, make sure your kids go to school every day, check your kids for lice, get them immunized, comb their hair, buy them new uniforms when they grow out of their old uniforms, sign their homework form, don’t shoot up in front of them – does it ever fuckin end?

That’s how we ended up at our place, with the needle Gavo used to shoot up earlier in the day [while the older kids were at school thank you Bethany from DOCS if you’re reading this]. And don’t get ya knickers in a twist, he wiped it down with Isocol first alright?! None of us are that fuckin stupid, even though I can happily report that Gavo doesn’t have anything except tinia on his feet and psoriasis on the back of his knees which isn’t contagious apparently. So while I numbed Trenty’s earlobes with some ice cubes, Keith got Gavo’s needle, all cleaned up, and pushed it right through Trenty’s earlobe. You’d think the screaming would’ve been loud but it wasn’t, it was just a little whimper, coz we gave Trenty some Xanax mixed up in his Karicare Gold formula so he was docile as, the whole time. We did the other ear too, no probs at all.

Trenty looks so cute now with his nice gold studs. Keith’s real proud. The Xanax has worn off though so Trenty won’t stop crying but I reckon he’ll cry himself to sleep soon enough. I did notice his ears are a bit swollen but I’m sure they’ll go down soon.

Ok, I better go, the screamings a bit high pitch now and getting annoying. Might give him a bit more of that Karicare Gold. Seeyaz.