Had the best night!

We went to a thing called Bogan Trivia night at the pub tonight. We walked in the front door and a guy said, welcome - awesome costume guys!
I didn't know what he was talking about coz I was wearing my usual stuff, which today was grey trackie dacks and a XXXX singlet. Gavo was wearing footy shorts, a blue singlet and his favourite yellow thongs. I didn't know it was meant to have been a costume party! But then I looked around and realised no-one else was wearing a costume either, so then I felt really bad, coz I realised the guy at the front door must have been blind, and the poor cunt must have been told to say that to everyone who comes in the front door.

Its nice that people with disabilities can get jobs these days, coz cousin Darryl told me they used to be thrown off cliffs and shit in the olden days. But now he reckons he sees downers and mongers serving him at KFC, and mopping the floor and shit. I said to him, Darryl, if full mongs can get a job at KFC mopping floors and drooling into the deep fryer, why can't you? He goes to me, Kyyles, if a fat acne-scarred bitch with severe thrush like your sister can get a job as a hooker in Mt Druitt, why can't you? Good point Darryl I said, but I punched him in the balls anyway coz Raylene can't help her thyroid condition and overactive sebaceous glands and over-growth of candida. It's not her fucking fault! And she does pretty good for herself thank you very much. She might be slightly plump; she might have to dab her face with blotting papers every few hours; and sure she takes Diflucan Duo once a day, but let me tell ya, that girl's been to Melbourne, twice and to Adelaide once AND she's been thinking of a trip to Brisbane - yeah, Brisbane. So cousin Darryl can shove it up his ass quite frankly coz we're real proud of Raylene. Don't mean to get all sappy on yooz but I'm a bit protective of Raylene, she's had it tough.

Anyway, so the blind bouncer let us in and we got put with a table of about 8 other people and they were real friendly. Gavo and I didn't seem to get any of the answers right, so our team didn't win anything except some minties. But then at the end, the blind guy, who walked surprisingly confidently and didn't bump into shit, said that the meat tray, which had beef, lamb, sausages and all sorts of rissoles, was going to the bogans with the best costume. Somehow, everyone started pointing at us and clapping and cheering and shit, and guess what: we won the fucking meat tray!!!! Not shitting you!!! Then I realised that this whole trivia night thing must be run by full mongs and the vision impaired.

I still can't believe it though - the meat tray almost makes up for the tragic loss of the eski earlier in the week. Fuck life is funny like that.

PS, got home and Simone still hasn't had the pups. What the fucks up with that?